Heart to Heart (and Head)

Having a parent (or, in our case, two) who is experiencing a life-threatening disease is hard, as I've discussed in a former blog post.  We came back from our Northeastern travels to support my husband's father.  He's been living with heart disease for many years and had already had open-heart surgery for a quad bypass.  During a family trip last year, he became ill and it was found he was now living with diabetes.  This year, he started having shortness of breath and low energy.  Tests found that he needed a new heart valve and a stent to broaden a thickening vessel. 

The surgeries, done on different days, went well and he was home by the week end.  In the meantime, I had cleaned out and added some healthy foods to the fridge and made a few dinners.  A home health nurse visited and mentioned that diet would be very important from here on out.  I guess I'm just too heavy handed.  While discussing a grocery list for the next week, I suggested leafy greens, fruits, protein sources and other ingredients for the non-white (rice, flour, bread, pasta, sugar) diet he was supposed to adopt.   His wife felt defensive immediately and said, "You can have anything you want."  Of course, that included cookies and Coke.   (Sounds like me and my sweet tea . . . .)

It took me a long time to get the message; my husband is the total opposite of me.  He just doesn't let himself get involved.  His sister is like me and gets quite upset; her partner is like Gary and does not; they are able to laugh it off.  We parked the RV in their driveway for quite a week or so and had meals together, so it just got harder and more tense for me.

Elliott made friends with the new kids on the block (next door), a new addition that has brightened the social aspect of the dead-end street, so long quieted by older residents.  In fact, we saw him for about five minutes over a two-day stretch where he spent the night, ate with the family, went boating and wakeboarding (he loves it!), and then spent the night again.

His grandmother did get him out a few days a week in the mornings to play tennis with her group at the country club.  Sounds hoity-toity, but don't worry, it's not.  He was the youngest player by about 50 years, but had a good time playing and learning more about the sport.  At this age, he seems to have a natural talent to do well in anything he tries.  Kind of like my older kids, except that they immersed themselves more into the visual and writing arts.

Depression is also something that has to be dealt with in managing parental health care.  We've seen it for many years in the family and are now seeing it manifesting itself in different ways across the board.  Any suggestions or advice would be so helpful in getting the family through this tough time.

And, I finally have to admit, I had to walk away for a while, though there were some lovely and serene moments gazing at the water or watching the wind rustle the leaves in the trees.  As stubborn as I am in wanting to be right, KNOWING I am right, actually (ha), I had to step back.  It is not my fight to fight and my husband was right when he exclaimed, 'Run away, run away!"  (Monty Python accent here.)  And my own diet sucketh at times, so maybe the lesson would be to clean mine up, lose some of this poundage, and come out healthier in mind and body on this side of things.  Send me good ju-ju, won't you?  A little less ballast on the boat would be a good thing.

Next Up:  Waiting for Da Boat