Adieu for Now (October 2008)

originally written on Sunday, October 12, 2008

This is the last BLOG I will post for at least two weeks; I have decided not to take my laptop to Paris. It will be a bit strange to not know at a moment's notice what everyone is doing or says they're doing. Or to get an electronic invite to a great night of music or an interesting play.

I am hoping that the internet cafes are way too expensive for me to get my fix while I'm gone, too. I need to step away from the screen and live fully.

That said, I get so much out of my various BLOGs' comments and those who do the commenting. The amazing support I've received during my learning time has made the transition to beautiful time just superb.

It's been a great month since I decided to make this trip; things that were hanging on a precipice have finally disappeared over the edge, never to raise their ugly heads again. I had been holding onto a lot of negativity in my life and finally, they were no more. It is such a blessing! Granted, because of that, some dynamics among friends and family have changed, too. Old and new friends have kept me calm and my new mantra is "Imagine the possibilities!" It's all as it should be.

Emily, Tim, and I finished our redemption song and it was sung at the Bistro to a good crowd. I hope Emily will sing it again while I'm gone and that she has huge standing-room-only crowds for the next two Tuesday nights.Speaking of music, as I sit by my window writing this, I am also listening to The Transmitters (a local reggae-ish band) playing at a restaurant right across the street on Sophia. Quite a crowd has gathered as the weather could not be more perfect. Though they do not know it, it's a lovely sendoff for my trip.

I'm still a bit shaky as I ponder the logistics of the trip; getting to and from the airport, through all the rigamarole of customs and baggage pickup. Then I get to decide whether to spend a huge amount of Euros to get a cab to the apartment or take a bus and then the metro. I'm trying to keep my bags to a minimum so that taking these forms of transportation will be doable, but I'm having some trouble. Which shoes to leave behind? Do I really need the heavy coat or will just a lined raincoat be sufficient? (As of today's weather report, it is going to be cloudy for a few days and then rainy. Ahhhh! All the more reason just to relax in a cafe for hours.)

I will learn a lot on this trip. I will make new friends, find new second-hand shops, great cafes, and the best places to get bread and cheese in the 15th. I do not expect that any huge revelations will come to me on this trip; I don't want any pressure on myself to come away with experience away and above from just sensual experiences. My joy at opening the door to a bakery will be sublime as I inhale the aroma of fresh-baked bread. My senses will be awakened to good French wine and cheeses I've never even heard the names of before.

I will be visiting sites and museums and possibly my childhood home, but more for me, this trip is about being in a foreign country, a place I have not seen for 44 years, reminding me of a little girl with big dreams and happy eyes and a snaggletooth grin. I will take her hand and fall in love in Paris.